Hello again! It's me, the religious cunt with a book. You probably remember me from the front page. Since we last met, I've become convinced that athiests are really fucking awful. But this is a FAQ for a fan fiction site, let's not dwell too much on that.

What is a Fan Fraction?

It's a story told in under 2,000 characters about someone famous. They're supposed to be funny, but they're often not. That's because people on the internet are disappointing.

Green, Yellow, Red - What the fuck is that?
It's a rudimentary colour-code, and an unreliable promise of quality. Green stories have either been voted in their by a crack team of elite experts, or by the votes of you, the public. Green stories are well liked. Yellow stories have been met with utter, stony indifference, and are probably shit, but nice.

Red stories aren't visible except on the random tour of judgment, because they're really really shit, and an embarrassment to the website.

What happens to my story?
If you're logged in, it'll be a yellow story. You can read it straight away, and you can permalink it. Warning, though - the permalink URL also allows strangers to vote on it. If it's shit, it'll soon disappear.

If you post the story anonymously, it'll start off red, waiting to be rescued by admin.

Messages? What?

I know. It's just that I kinda worked out how to give people a little inbox, and thought I'd give it a go. It works a bit. I mean, the Outbox is fucked - if people delete your message from their inbox, it also deletes it from your outbox. But that's quirky, isn't it? It's adorable.

Legal Ownership Of This Shit

If you post anonymously, fuck you. It's ours. If you post whilst logged in, then it's yours. Look, I'm not kidding myself there's another book in me, and what with Ian Huntley running amok in these pages I hardly think this is commercial.This is just internet fun for everyone. I can edit it though. OK? THANKS.

Something else
God, writing faqs is fucking boring. I mean, I'm a God-fearing man, and ten times more patient and giving than any revolting unbeliever you care to mention, but I'm gasping for a pray and this isn't getting me closer to heaven. So long, you hellbound fuck.